Member-only story
Looking for Balance
Does it Exist?
🌺 Non-Medium Members can read here. 🌺
Am I ever going to be an excellent writer? With practice…maybe. Am I an excellent writer now?… I don’t know. I just like to write. I like to find that one word that perfectly describes a feeling. I’m also beginning to learn that there is never a direct opposite where feelings are involved.
Are you feeling good? Are you feeling bad?
It’s a mix of both. Why can’t it be one or the other? I grew up that way. Polar opposites for everything. It was stifling. I feel okay when you aren’t yelling at me, but I’m still afraid. That doesn’t stop. It won’t stop until twenty years away from you has happened. I can tell there are leftovers, though. When I get worried, my breathing isn’t as deep. Shallow breaths. Shallow breathing. All that energy is out there in the air, and I can’t take it in because I am afraid.
Did I know I was afraid? No. I thought that was normal. I thought that was how people lived. It wasn’t until somebody told me to take a deep breath and hold it that I began to get the idea there was a way to open my door. It’s funny, but so many times as I release that huge, deep breath, I cry. I don’t know why I cry. It just happens.
Is it something I need to find the answers to? Is it something that is going to help me be successful? I don’t know. I’m not worried about it right now. I just don’t have enough time left. Maybe 20 years if I am lucky. Maybe less. Maybe more. I have to stop thinking about time passing. I have to be in the NOW. I have to be here. I think the idea is to be present.
Looking backward is not all that helpful in order to live a full life, and neither is looking forward. What about plans? That is looking forward. Don’t people need to have goals? Yes, but be flexible about what the end result is. Don’t be so invested in what you want the outcome to be. Aim for the stars. That you never actually stand on one is something you already know in your heart. Just aim.
Thanks for reading. Believe in magic. It is real.
🌺My Other Links:
When Spirit Whispers, a book by Pauline Evanosky
My Table of Contents for Medium
The Best Stuff for Kids on YouTube
Just Passing Through on YouTube
Talking To Spirit on YouTube
Talking To Spirit on Substack
Talking To Spirit — my website
Pencil Stubs Online
