Scary Times

It might be stereotypical but when I think of mid-western towns out in the middle of nowhere, I think of a slower way of life. I think of people who have known each other all their lives. There may be some of them who left to go to school and then spent some time with a career but at some point, the lure of the quiet, of the honesty, of the intrigue of phone trees draws them back home. It might be the death of someone close to them that did the trick, but somewhere along the line that lure will be there…will always be there.

Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash

Does this happen with people who grew up in cities? I suppose so. It’s probably the imprinting that happens early in life that holds the yearning. It is what you are used to.

I grew up as an Army Brat. I went to 13 different schools in 12 years. As an adult I had trouble with relationships. It was like I came from a different mold. But, you get used to it. You adapt. What helped me was my husband. We’ve been married 45 years and happy with it.

It was at year number 3 in our marriage I got itchy feet. At year 7 it happened again. Through the years, periodically, I will feel like it is time to move. I call it itchy feet syndrome. At the end of a tour of duty for my father we would move. I don’t put down roots and I sometimes I envy people who do. My husband is my life and wherever we live is our home. I still don’t feel that I’m really from California even though I’ve lived in the same place for 32 years. Roots and me just don’t compute. Family does.

The people on both sides of my family have been in the armed services for generations. They’ve been in the army, the navy and the air force. My husband was in the army and his brother a marine. There are stories of ancestors who served in the revolutionary army on both sides.

I know I learned resilience from being an Army Brat. There are books out there with people describing what it was like growing up in the service. I am strong. I just have to remember it at times like this. I believe in myself. I believe in my husband that we can jump into and out of situations when it is time to do so.

It is difficult when you reach a crossroads. Sometimes it is sad. Sometimes it is traumatic. Sometimes, I suppose, it can be joyful, but for me crossroads have always begun as a scary place. They eventually always settle…