Try or Don’t Try
Just try not to be afraid.
Two things can happen if you force yourself to be happy and look on the bright side. It might work, and it might not work. If you can boil things down to either of those two choices, I think you’d have an easier time of it.
Being afraid doesn’t count.
With me, I sometimes plan the heck out of a project, even to the point where I do pretend stuff in my head. When I was younger and afraid, much of the time, this was not a good thing. It was difficult for me to imagine success. Success for a little girl means there are lots of people saying they love me. They would miss me if I were gone. Stuff like that matters to a little girl.
Now, as an adult, all I am afraid of is success.
I can tell myself that’s stupid and unreasonable. I can tell myself not to worry about it because it’s never going to happen anyway.
And, yet, it has. Sort of.
When I set a goal for myself, I either lose interest, find something else to do, and abandon the plan, or I succeed.
Except, what does success mean? I know it’s different in any circumstance. For me, having been an administrative manager for a while was one of those successful things I did. Except ten years later, I’m still dreaming about it. Not one of those dreams…
